Hills of Inverrary News

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Showing posts from July, 2025

🏰 The $2.99 Uprising: When Loyalty Meets Light Fees and Heavy Drama

By Mike Greco MBA - July 18, 2025

Welcome back to Hills of Inverrary’s most trusted board-approved source of news, where decorum reigns supreme... until a fee appears. This week, we interrupt your regularly scheduled programming of emoji-filled board praise and recycled landscaping reports to bring you a full-blown digital rebellion. The source of unrest? A $2.99 EFT fee. That’s right—two dollars and ninety-nine cents has ignited an existential crisis among the most devout board loyalists. 🧠 What is EFT and why does it cost less than dignity? EFT stands for Electronic Funds Transfer, or as our community calls it, "Evoking Fee Turmoil." The charge applies to anyone who wants their monthly maintenance deducted automatically from their account. Convenient? Yes. Avoidable? Absolutely. Just use bill pay and—poof—the fee vanishes like last year’s audit trail. 🎤 Testimonials from the Front Lines “I love the fee. It reminds me I’m alive.” – Ms. Fee Defender “What is bill pay? Is it a new vendor?” – Mr. Curio...

🔌 “Shockingly Transparent: The Board’s New Truth Protocol”

By Mike Greco MBA - July 12, 2025

The Hills of Inverrary Board has finally cracked the code for accountability — and it starts with headgear and high voltage. Introducing the Tin Hat Truth Enhancer™ , a lie-detecting helmet rigged to deliver a gentle zap whenever a board member strays from the truth. The technology, inspired by the groundbreaking transparency systems used at Kriesel Bros Used Cars on Broward Blvd, brings vintage fib-frightening ingenuity to modern governance. If you haven't seen their original demo, here's the shockumentary that started it all: Inspired by Kriesel Bros Used Cars on Broward Blvd — the origin of our community's transparency revolution. 💥 Cartoon Spotlight: To help residents visualize this revolutionary leap in truth enforcement, we commissioned a cartoon of the Tin Hat Truth Enhancer™ in action — complete with sparks, zaps, and one highly electrified board meeting. It features: A fearless board president seated at the head of the table, bravely wearing the g...

🛑 Hills News Exclusive: Tonight's Board Mass at Zoom Vatican—Attendance Mandatory-ish

By Mike Greco MBA - July 10, 2025

The skies darken, the inbox groans, and the Pope of the Hills readies his papal Realtor name tag. Tonight, at 6:30 PM sharp, the faithful shall convene for another ceremonial Board Meeting… featuring ritual muting, passive nodding, and enough circular dialogue to summon a Category 5 migraine. 🔔 Liturgical Agenda Highlights Include: Celebrating our continued disregard of the FPL easement violation Smiling through fiscal despair Unveiling Phase VII of the “Vatican Inverrary Vision™” 👑 Cast of Divine Characters: 💼 His Holiness Pope Listingus the Bitter Still not on the board, still calling the shots. Tonight, he unveils his one commandment: “ I control the listings ,” echoed in his Zoom square from a throne made of expired MLS flyers. 🧓 Rules and Regs Guy Older, crustier, and now wielding the Holy Listing Scroll in one hand and the Ten Commandments of the COA in the other. Commandment #7: “Thou shalt not park near fire hydrants lest ye incur the wrath of statute 718.123.” ...

🚧 Sign Wars & Safety Fails: How Our Board Thinks “Authorized Personnel Only” Signs Can Outrank High-Voltage Power Lines

By Mike Greco MBA - July 09, 2025

Another week, another page out of the “You Can’t Make This Up” book of COA mischief at the Hills of Inverrary. In the latest installment of “Let’s Pretend We Know the Law,” our board has chosen to ignore both Florida Power & Light’s legally binding easement and common sense. Instead of removing construction debris, equipment, and now maintenance sheds and containers from beneath high-voltage transmission lines (yes, those transmission lines), they’ve gone with a bold workaround: 👉 Install a sign that says “AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.” Apparently, the board believes warning signs have magical liability-repelling powers — like garlic to vampires, but for litigation. 🎭 The Cast of This Governance Tragedy 🎩 Rules and Regs Guy stands beside the caution tape and squints at the easement documents like they’re a foreign language. He mutters: 🗨️ “I skimmed the FPL easement… nothing in there about logic.” Meanwhile, 📋 The Meeting Monitor , perched atop a storage container, pe...

🚨 From Bin to Blight: How Our Board Turned a Maintenance Area into an Illegal Dump Site

By Mike Greco MBA - July 06, 2025

In a baffling move that would make even the most negligent property manager blush, the Hills of Inverrary board president decided to eliminate the Association’s 40-yard Waste Management disposal bin—traditionally stationed at the end of Lime Hill Road—and instead direct all community waste to be dumped directly on the ground beneath Florida Power & Light (FPL) high-voltage transmission lines. Yes, you read that right. Construction debris, landscaping waste, old mattresses, paint cans, floor tiles, and even chemicals are now being stockpiled in an open, fenced (open during the day) area under live power lines, awaiting monthly bulk pickup. This isn’t just unsightly—it’s illegal, unsafe, and environmentally reckless. ⚖️ What Laws Are Being Violated? Let’s break it down: Illegal Dumping (Broward County Code of Ordinances, Article VI - Solid Waste) Broward County and the City of Lauderhill, prohibit unauthorized dumping of solid waste, including construction materials, hazardous was...

🚫🛻 “No Trucks Allowed?” Not So Fast: Why Florida’s New Law Should Apply to Condos Too

By Mike Greco MBA - July 06, 2025

It’s 2025, and yet some condo boards are still acting like it’s 1985—when pickup trucks were only for contractors and cowboys. Today, they’re for families, professionals, and yes, even retirees who just want to haul a kayak or a Costco haul. But try telling that to our condo board. 🧾 The Law That’s Shaking Up HOAs In 2024, Florida passed a law (HB 1203) that prohibits HOAs from banning personal vehicles—including pickup trucks—from being parked in driveways or other legally designated spaces . It was a long-overdue correction to outdated rules that treated personal-use trucks like eyesores or threats to property values. But here’s the kicker: the law doesn’t explicitly mention condominiums . And now, some condo boards, including the Hills of Inverrary board, are using that omission to keep enforcing their anti-truck rules. ⚖️ Why That Interpretation Doesn’t Hold Water Let’s be clear: the legislative intent behind the law was to protect homeowners’ rights , not just HOA members. The sp...

🎆 Happy Independence Day from Hills of Inverrary News

By Mike Greco MBA - July 04, 2025

As fireworks light up the sky and we celebrate the birth of American independence, let’s also raise a sparkler to something a little closer to home: the independent spirit of the Hills of Inverrary News . Just like our Founding Fathers once declared, “We will not be ruled without representation,” we too believe in transparency, accountability, and the right to question authority—especially when it’s parked in a no-parking zone. 😉 This community-driven platform was created to give residents a voice, shine a light on the issues that matter, and yes, occasionally poke fun at the absurdities that come with condo politics. Because freedom of speech doesn’t stop at the guard gate. So today, while you’re enjoying BBQ, fireworks, and maybe a little red, white, and rosé—remember that independence isn’t just a historical event. It’s a mindset. And here at Hills of Inverrary News , we’re proud to keep that spirit alive, one blog post, cartoon, and community conversation at a time. 🎇 Happy 4th ...

🚫 “No Parking” Means… Unless You’re on the Board?

By Mike Greco MBA - July 02, 2025

Ah, the Hills of Inverrary—where the grass is green, the bylaws are thick, and the rules are enforced with the precision of a Swiss watch… unless, of course, you’re on the board. Let’s talk about a curious phenomenon happening right in front of our community office. You’ve probably seen it: the “No Parking” sign standing tall and proud, valiantly trying to do its job. And then—bam!—a board member’s car cozied up right underneath it like it’s a reserved VIP spot. 🛻 Decals? Denied. But Double Parking? Divine! Residents have been cited or warned for everything from novelty Bigfoot truck decals to gardens with peas . Yet somehow, when it comes to blocking the office entrance, creating traffic bottlenecks, or turning the front of the building into a valet stand, the rules seem to take a coffee break. It’s the classic case of “Do as I say, not as I park.” 🚦Traffic Jam, Board Edition The result? A daily game of “Dodge the Boardmobile” for anyone trying to navigate the front of the off...

🚨 Serious Allegations. Real Consequences. Time for a Forensic Audit.

By Mike Greco MBA - July 01, 2025

Allegations have surfaced that our association paid invoices for work that was never done—and that someone who tried to expose it was threatened into silence. This isn’t gossip. It’s a credible claim from someone with direct knowledge of past board operations. 💰 Our maintenance fees deserve better. 🛠️ Our infrastructure deserves better. 🕵️‍♂️ Our community deserves the truth. This type of scheme is sadly common in poorly supervised associations: Insiders create fake companies or collude with vendors to submit invoices for work that’s never done. In return, they receive kickbacks or personally profit while the community foots the bill. These scams are often buried in plain sight—hidden behind vague work orders, inflated costs, or nonexistent repairs. ⚠️ A routine audit won’t catch this. Only a forensic audit can: Cross-check invoices against actual work completed Verify vendor legitimacy Uncover patterns of fraud or self-dealing We’re organizing a petition to call a Specia...

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