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Welcome to the Hills of Inverrary Community News Blog!

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🏡 Welcome to Our New Community News Blog and Resource Website! We’re thrilled to launch this new digital space for the Hills of Inverrary community—a place where staying informed, engaged, and connected is just a click away. Whether you’re looking for the latest updates, want to explore upcoming events, or need access to important documents, this site is built with you in mind. We’ll be sharing news, resources, and opportunities to get involved—plus helpful posts on topics that matter most to our residents. You’ll also find: A Community Resources page packed with contact info, documents, and helpful links A Blog section (right here!) where we’ll post stories, announcements, and spotlights on our neighbors And soon, more interactive features based on your feedback We invite you to bookmark the page, subscribe for updates, and become part of the ongoing conversation that makes Inverrary such a special place to call home. Thanks for being here—let’s grow this community, together. Note:...
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🛑 Hills News Exclusive: Tonight's Board Mass at Zoom Vatican—Attendance Mandatory-ish

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The skies darken, the inbox groans, and the Pope of the Hills readies his papal Realtor name tag. Tonight, at 6:30 PM sharp, the faithful shall convene for another ceremonial Board Meeting… featuring ritual muting, passive nodding, and enough circular dialogue to summon a Category 5 migraine.

🔔 Liturgical Agenda Highlights Include:

  • Celebrating our continued disregard of the FPL easement violation
  • Smiling through fiscal despair
  • Unveiling Phase VII of the “Vatican Inverrary Vision™”

👑 Cast of Divine Characters:

💼 His Holiness Pope Listingus the Bitter
Still not on the board, still calling the shots. Tonight, he unveils his one commandment: “I control the listings,” echoed in his Zoom square from a throne made of expired MLS flyers.

🧓 Rules and Regs Guy
Older, crustier, and now wielding the Holy Listing Scroll in one hand and the Ten Commandments of the COA in the other. Commandment #7: “Thou shalt not park near fire hydrants lest ye incur the wrath of statute 718.123.”

🔴 Meeting Monitor
Red-haired guardian of time, glasses fogged from fury, clutching the sacred Mute Chalice. Her mission: smite residents who attempt off-agenda discourse. Try saying “insurance liability,” and you’ll vanish from the meeting faster than last month’s budget review.

👜 Cardinal Commissionitus (a.k.a. Influencer-in-Chief)
Once a board member, now lead kiss-upper to developers. She’ll be pushing the new Inverrary development harder than a timeshare pitch at a cruise port. Look for her clutching zoning plans like relics and whispering “This is good for property values” to no one in particular.

🕯️ Rituals to Expect:

  • Blessing the minutes nobody reads
  • Offering vague responses to detailed resident questions
  • Zoom latency used as a divine excuse for accountability lapses

🍷 Communion Materials:

  • One sacrificial budget
  • Two rubber-stamped motions
  • Three disappearing resident concerns

Log in. Observe. Resist the urge to scream into your decorative throw pillow.

Tonight, we meet not as neighbors—but as parishioners of Inverrary’s COA Theocracy. May your internet be strong, your questions be brief, and your mute button mercifully untouched. 🙏

“The Hills of Inverrary News Blog – Where Facts Live and Spin Stops.”

Location: Lauderhill, FL, USA

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