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Welcome to the Hills of Inverrary Community News Blog!

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🏡 Welcome to Our New Community News Blog and Resource Website! We’re thrilled to launch this new digital space for the Hills of Inverrary community—a place where staying informed, engaged, and connected is just a click away. Whether you’re looking for the latest updates, want to explore upcoming events, or need access to important documents, this site is built with you in mind. We’ll be sharing news, resources, and opportunities to get involved—plus helpful posts on topics that matter most to our residents. You’ll also find: A Community Resources page packed with contact info, documents, and helpful links A Blog section (right here!) where we’ll post stories, announcements, and spotlights on our neighbors And soon, more interactive features based on your feedback We invite you to bookmark the page, subscribe for updates, and become part of the ongoing conversation that makes Inverrary such a special place to call home. Thanks for being here—let’s grow this community, together. Note:...
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🧠 Rules & Regs Gone Wild: Hills of Inverrary COA Edition

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🚓 Opening Act: The Towing Nostalgia Tour

This week's Rules and Regulations Committee meeting felt like a live taping of Black Mirror: COA Edition. The Rules and Regs Guy kicked things off with misty-eyed nostalgia for the “good old days” when cars were towed for merely thinking about curbs. His 10-minute time limit ballooned into a TED Talk titled Authoritarian Landscaping: A Retrospective. When reminded of the clock, he laughed—because rules are for residents, not the rule-makers.

🧹 Personal Items = Public Enemy

The committee then clarified that any personal item touching a common area would be “swiftly dealt with.” Translation: fines, lawsuits, liens, and possibly exile. Renters? Silenced. Not a whisper. Not even a polite cough. One resident sneezed and was immediately added to the violation log.

🚙 Guest Pass: Now with Threat Detection

The pièce de résistance? The unveiling of the new dashboard guest pass—a glossy laminated threat that reads like a ransom note. If your tire grazes a blade of grass, your vehicle will be towed into a parallel dimension. The board chuckled like Bond villains, despite their own cars lounging on the office lawn like retired lifeguards.

🧒 Screening Process or Airport Security?

The screening process for new residents was described as something between a TSA pat-down and a preschool interrogation. Children with sidewalk chalk? Considered threats. Teen drivers? Forbidden. Toys on the grass? Grounds for tribunal. One board member suggested fingerprinting toddlers “just in case.”

📚 If Orwell Had Retired in South Florida…

If Orwell had lived in Lauderhill, the Hills of Inverrary: A COA Dystopia would’ve been his magnum opus. Stay tuned for next week’s meeting, where the board unveils its latest initiative:

Drone Surveillance for Unauthorized Smiling in Common Areas.

Rumor has it, the drone comes equipped with a frown detector and a citation printer.

“The Hills of Inverrary News Blog – Where Facts Live and Spin Stops.”


"And Ye Shall Know the Truth and The Truth Shall Make You Free" - John 8:32
Location: Lauderhill, FL, USA

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